Scarred for life
by DuringMyDarkestHour
Summary: Penelope and Derek met years ago and before Penelope left she confessed her love to Derek before leaving him all alone, now they have a second chance when fate throws them back together, but when the past unravels and the present begins to break them, will there be a future? (Rated M just in case)
1. Tattoos

**This is probably about the tenth time I've tried to write this story... if it's no good can you please tell me so I can try again;**

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Criminal Minds, or their characters;**

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_(18 years ago)_

''This better be good baby girl, I don't appreciate being woken up by just anyone at 3am'' Derek said down the phone.

''I know, and I'm sorry but there's something I need to tell you.'' Penelope held back her tears and tried to keep calm.

''What is it baby? Are you okay?'' Derek shot up out of bed and reached for his jeans, he needed to go and see her.

''Derek, I...I love you.'' Penelope admitted, ''no, that doesn't cut it, I am head over heels in love with you, you are the one good thing in my life, and every moment I spend with you makes my heart warm, I..I'm'' Derek was silent on the other side of the line, ''I'm going to miss you so much.'' She finally blurted out.

''Penelope? What do you mean you're going to miss me?'' A once smiling Derek said confused and saddened all in one. Penelope didn't answer, tears now rolling down her face, ''PENELOPE?!'' Derek shouted. ''I'm going back to Boston, goodbye Derek.'' And with that Penelope hung up the phone and tossed her phone into some bushes before getting back into the car next to her brother.

Derek was going mental, he got dressed as quick as possible and tried phoning Penelope at least ten times with no answer, and he rushed over to her dorm to find it empty... he knew then he'd never see Penelope again.

XXXXX

_(Present Day)_

''And this is your desk...'' The blonde woman pointed to the desk, ''Thanks... erh'' JJ laughed ''JJ, my names JJ.'' Derek nodded, and sat at his desk, ''we have a case, so there will be a briefing in about five minutes, you'll also have your chance to meet the rest of the team.'' Derek smiled, ''that's great''.

Derek sat in his chair in the round table room, and everyone's eyes were focused on him, 'the new guy' 'Okay guys, this is Derek Morgan, he's been transferred here from a division in Chicago, and he'll be part of the team starting today.'' Hotch said, they all shook Derek's hand, and found it quite easy to get along with him. ''Anything to say before we start?'' Hotch asked, ''PG won't be in today, she's come down with the flu, but business as usual tomorrow.'' Prentiss said.

They quickly discussed the case, and it was wheels up in 30, as they were on the jet Derek moved over to sit by Emily, ''Hey...'' Derek looked at Emily, ''umm, hey...'' she said, Derek took his jacket off and rolled his sleeves up, a tattoo on his wrist immediately caught Emily's eye. ''03-09-87?'' she asked turning her head; she'd seen that tattoo before. ''Yeah, it's the day I met my baby girl, we got matching tattoo's a week later.'' Prentiss smirked, ''Hey JJ, check this out.'' She called. ''what?'' her gaze immediately latched on to the tattoo, ''no way that's just like...'' By now Derek was completely puzzled.

''So who's your 'baby girl'?'' Emily asked both her and JJ laughing quietly. Derek smiled and closed his eyes in remembrance, ''Her names Penelope Garcia, but I haven't seen or heard from her in-'' JJ finished his sentence, ''18 years?'' Derek's eyes shot open and stared directly at JJ, ''How did you? I mean... wait a second, PG has the flu?'' his eyes got wide. He stood up gaining attention from Reid, Hotch and Rossi. Emily and JJ laughed and nodded, ''she works in the team?'' Reid was confused, ''w-what's going on?'' he asked quietly. Emily pointed to Derek's wrist, and said ''I think we've found Penelope's other half, the one she always used to talk about.'' It then occurred to Reid that when Penelope talked about Derek, she called him 'hotstuff' or 'DM' never Derek. ''Oh of course, 'DM' stands for Derek Morgan, I-I personally always thought it stood for Daniel Monroe or something.'' Reid said puzzling the pieces together.

''Wait, wait, wait... let me get this straight?'' Derek said holding his head in his hands. ''My Penelope, works in this team, and talks about me?'' Reid and Emily nodded but JJ answered ''Well not exactly, Penelope works in this team, she used to talk about you, but not so much since she got married, so technically she's not even 'your' Penelope, she's Kevin's.'' Derek sighed ''She never was my Penelope exactly... I wanted her to be, but she left before I could tell her, but the fuck is this Kevin guy?'' Derek snapped, ''Kevin Lynch, and well Penelope is now Lynch-Garcia, she has been for the last 3 months.'' JJ replied. ''I don't want to talk about this right now, can we just focus on the case?'' Derek snapped again.

XXXXX

The next day quickly arrived, and Derek couldn't get Penelope off of his mind, her number had been put into his cell and he decided it was time to face those demons. He hit speed dial number 7, and the phone began to ring... not 5 seconds later, Penelope answered ''your friendly neighbourhood oracle of all things knowable and unknowable at your service.'' Derek cleared his throat holding back a laugh, ''Oh new guy I presume?'' Penelope said knowingly, ''Not so new actually... baby girl.'' It couldn't be, she heard wrong that was not him, nope, no way... ''who is this exactly?'' She said panicking, ''silly girl, are you trying to tell me that you don't know who I am?'' Penelope could swear her heart stopped beating, and instead of replying she hung up.

Derek wasn't annoyed at all, he understood that this would have been a shock to her and could take some time getting used to. Penelope on the other hand was furiously searching the FBI's database for recent transfers, and when she found the one she was looking for she didn't know what to think. 'Derek Morgan, transfer accepted Chicago – Virginia, Quantico, BAU.' Penelope scanned through the information and then just stared at the screen when a picture of Derek showed up, he looked pretty much the same, just less hair and well... older.

After about ten minutes of staring at the god on her screen, Penelope felt guilty for hanging up on him, and decided to phone him back, not sure why exactly. ''Come to your senses huh?'' he sniggered as he answered, ''I-I don't know what to say, I just wasn't expecting this...'' Penelope said, trying to phrase her words right. ''I don't think either of us were expecting it baby girl, fate has a funny way of throwing things together.'' Penelope let out a singular 'ha' ''you're telling me?'' Derek sat down on his hotel bed, ''you still kind of owe me an explanation for that night 18 years ago baby girl.'' Penelope's heart sunk, that was the night she told Derek Morgan that she loved him, and then left, she was kind of hoping he had forgotten about the 'love' part. ''We'll talk when you get back.'' Derek smiled to himself, ''you better not run this time.'' He then clicked his phone off, lay on his bed and knew the future looked bright once again.


	2. The reunion

**So well, my muse for this ran out considering I'm working on a few projects at a time, but it has finally decided to return so here is chapter 2;**

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Criminal Minds, or their characters;**

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Derek sat down on the first seat he saw on the jet and just sighed, his first case hadn't exactly gone to plan and it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be, yes he had worked cases before, but never ones that brutal. The only thing that had kept him sane on this case was that he knew that Penelope was back at the BAU waiting to meet with him for the first time in 18 years, with that thought in mind Derek smiled helplessly to himself and relaxed, before his mind averted to the fact that she was married... not a day went by when Derek didn't think about Penelope's last words to him, and the tattoo certainly didn't help him forget he had a hard time explaining it to girls that he had slept with over the years, and he wondered how Penelope had come up with an excuse to her 'husband' about hers.

Back at the BAU Penelope was pacing backwards and forwards knowing that the case had ended and in just a few shot hours she would have to come face to face with the man she once loved and left, 'what am I going to say...' she thought she then stood still and began having a conversation with herself that she could replay to Derek ... ''Derek I-I..'' she grunted in frustration, this was going to be harder than she thought.

XXXXX

Time flew by for Penelope, but not so much for Derek, before Penelope knew it she was meeting the team by the elevator so they could go out for drinks to relax after the stressful week, as the elevator dinged and the doors began to open Penelope gulped and swallowed hard, each one of the team members nodded or hugged Penelope as they walked past, and JJ stayed there with her talking but her mind was on the man that was last stepping out of the elevator, Penelope could hear JJ talking but words weren't clear in her mind, it was like everything was in slow motion and her gaze was fixed upon the beautiful man that Derek had become.

Derek cleared his throat as in to announce himself behind JJ, Penelope could feel herself begin to shake and she couldn't tell if she was going throw up or not, JJ looked up at Derek and understood what he was asking, and she smirked at Penelope as she walked away. Derek smoothly took a few steps closer until he was stood right in front of Penelope, he raised his eyebrows and said ''My, my baby girl I'd nearly gone and forgotten just how beautiful you are.'' Penelope tried to find words to say but nothing came to mind and just as he was about to speak again all of a sudden shouting occurred from down the corridor ''PENNY, PENNY DEAR.'' Kevin almost tripped over his own feet as he paced down the corridor and stood in front of Derek.

''Penny, come on lets go'' he said pulling her by the arm, re-adjusting his glasses and looking up at Derek who he didn't even realise was there at first, all at the same time. ''Who's he?'' he said pausing, Penelope was still dazed by the god standing in front of her, ''that's what I was about to ask you...'' Derek said not amused. Kevin reached out his hand for a handshake, ''Kevin Lynch, pleased to meet you, now if you'll excuse me and my little lovebird have things to discuss.'' Derek agitated now reluctantly shook the man's hand, ''so you're my baby girls husband?'' Kevin shot a glance at Penelope in remembrance to a former conversation, but before he could speak Penelope's eyes grew and she interrupted, ''Kevin, a word in private please?'' As he pushed him away towards her office.

At that moment in time, Derek couldn't tell if he was happy, angry or amused, but if he knew one thing it would be that his sweet little angel was just as beautiful as ever and his feelings for her had certainly not changed, he could of sworn that his heart skipped a beat when she looked at him, however Lynch was going to be a problem, not a huge one, Derek could deal with Lynch but he was still going to be in the way, and so Derek needed to think fast before he loses her for good, he couldn't help but think how Penelope's standards had dropped from him, to a greasy haired nerd, she couldn't really love him? Surely...

XXXXX

''Penelope, you said!'' Kevin shouted as she shut the door behind them, ''I know... I know what I said Kevin; I am the one who said it.'' She said frustrated. ''So is he?'' Kevin asked ''Yes he is, and I know that I should have told you the truth but I just couldn't... I mean I never ever imagined he'd turn up here let alone join this team.'' Kevin shook his head in disbelief, ''so after 4 years of lying to me you've finally decided to tell me the truth?!'' Kevin shouted, ''I'm sorry, I didn't want to lose you...'' Penelope said, tears welling up in the back of her eyes, Kevin rolled his eyes ''Do you still love him?'' he asked with concern and genuine grief in his voice. Penelope let a tear roll down her face, and didn't answer, ''I knew it!'' Kevin screamed before trying to open the door, ''KEVIN, listen... I don't know what I feel for him, I-it was a long time ago, and it was 18 years ago for Christ sakes...'' Kevin looked at Penelope ''So you're telling me, that you call this man's name in your sleep every single night, you have a tattoo with the date you met him on and a tattoo saying D's baby girl, but yet you still don't feel a thing for him?'' Penelope stuttered ''I-I... I'm, I.'' Kevin rubbed his hands down his face, ''don't come home tonight.'' He said before walking out of the room.

Derek still stood by the elevator waiting for Penelope to come back through and instead he saw a fuel raged Kevin charging out of her office, ''YOU!'' he called out angrily to Derek who was minding his own business, as he got closer he thought that it wasn't such a great idea to try and square up to a much taller man with a gun and abs, ''I'm going to fucking kill you!'' Kevin stood at least a meter away from Derek but Derek could see the hate in his eyes anyway, ''what? What the hell did I do?'' Kevin snarled, ''like you don't know!'' Derek raised his hands ''No, I really don't know, what the hell did I do?'' Kevin looked at him in one of the most evil ways, he knew that Penelope and Derek were never together but he knew how his wife felt about him, ''I'll let you figure that one out on your own, and if you DARE touch my wife, you'd better run.'' Kevin spat as he walked past Derek and back down the corridor.


	3. Think fast

**A/N: I am truly very, very sorry that I haven't updated anything in a while; I've been critically ill and in and out of hospital with problems with my blood cells. I'm home for Christmas and as I am bed ridden I have decided to try my best to update as often as possible over the holidays;**

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Criminal Minds, or their characters;**

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Derek stood still for a moment replaying the last couple of minutes in his mind, first he was extremely happy to be face to face with Penelope once more, and then he was completely confused by her weird, nerdy husband's accusations towards him. 'I'll let you figure that one out on your own, and if you DARE touch my wife, you'd better run.' What was his problem anyway? All he had done is innocently say 'hello' to an old friend, is that a crime?

After over thinking the situation Derek laid eyes on the door of the room Penelope was currently in, thinking with his heart only and not his mind, he began walking towards the door and as he was about to knock, the door swung open and Penelope walked straight into his arms. As quick as she was there, she moved away not looking up to meet his eyes, ''I-I'm sorry, I...'' before she finished the sentence she sniffled, and that's when it hit Derek that she was crying. ''Hey, hey what's wrong?'' Derek asked, although he had a pretty good idea that it was that 'fabulous' husband of hers fault.

''It's just that Kevin figured out that...'' Derek looked confused when Penelope's eyes finally met his, she'd paused in the middle of her sentence and he wasn't all that sure she was going to carry on.

''figured out what?'' Derek asked concerned, ''n-nothing... it's nothing, I have to go.'' She scooted past him and practically ran down the corridor leaving Derek even more confused, was life at the BAU always this confusing? She surely couldn't tell Derek all that when she first met Kevin she had lied about who Derek really was... and that he was dead.

XXXXX

**(4 years ago)**

_**''Derek! Derek please, Derek! DEREK! I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, I love you, DEREK!'' Penelope shook and writhed about on the bed, before she was abruptly woken by another horrifying nightmare and an even more horrifying expression on her boyfriend's face, she breathed heavily and then sat up to face Kevin who had placed his book on his knees and was now looking at her like she was the World's most delusional person. ''Derek?'' he asked keeping calm. Penelope finally steadied her breathing and lay back down. ''did you say something?'' she asked. ''Yes I did, I want to know who this 'Derek' guy is and why you were calling out how much you love him and that you're sorry.''**_

_**Penelope rolled over to face her lover, ''I don't really want to talk about it Kev, you can understand right?'' she silently prayed that he would drop the subject or she would need a hell of an explanation, ''No Penelope, I don't understand why my girlfriend is having dreams about another man!'' Kevin said slightly infuriated. Penelope sighed; there was no getting out of this one... ''They're not... dreams, they're nightmares. Kevin snarled, ''Still doesn't explain the 'I love you Derek' part of the 'nightmare' Penelope.'' 'Think Penelope think, you can't tell your boyfriend that you've loved another man for 14+ years and that you think about losing him all the time, again and again.'**_

_**''He's dead.'' 'Don't think like that Penelope, you idiot.' Kevin who was rubbing his hands over his face stopped midway and turned to face Penelope. ''He's... dead?'' Penelope nodded looking anywhere but at Kevin. ''did you... kill him Penelope? Is that why you're sorry?'' Kevin asked edging closer towards the end of the bed slowly. ''WHAT? NO I DIDN'T KILL HIM I LOVED HIM.'' Kevin let out a sigh of relief, but wanted more of an explanation. ''Your..Your tattoos, they're about him, right?'' Penelope angry now, nodded and began to get out of bed. ''D's baby girl? Derek...'' Penelope practically spat at Kevin, ''YES KEVIN, Derek's baby girl.'' Kevin put his hands up in defence, ''I just, I want to know what happened that's all..'' Penelope grunted in frustration and sat down on the bed, she couldn't worm her way out of this situation, god forbid the that she runs into Derek Morgan again. ''It... it was a car accident, he was on his way home from College, we ended on bad terms, with an argument, not our relationship, there never was really one, but after we argued I told him that I loved him, and then I left his dorm, and it was the middle of winter and the roads were icy and the car, it span off the road and into a ditch.'' 'good thinking Penelope, make the whole situation ten times worse.' Kevin looked... sad? ''Oh Plum sauce, why didn't you just tell me, I could help with the nightmares, and I'll comfort you, that couldn't off been nice.'' He'd bought it? He, Kevin Lynch had bought her stupid story about her College love? WOW.**_

XXXXX

Derek just stood there yet again, but before Penelope could get out of sight he raced after her pulling her into the nearest supply closet, she shook her head, she couldn't face him, she couldn't tell him, no, no way, she reached for the door handle but Derek was too quick for her and slammed the door back shut as soon as it opened, he then positioned himself between Penelope and the door. ''Baby girl, what was that all about? Did err, your husband hurt you?'' Derek asked clenching his fists, before she could reply, Derek continued, ''cause I swear if he did, I'll kill him, literally with my bare hands, no one touches you Penelope, no one lays a finger on you because I'm the only one who can touch you, and I would NEVER hurt you.'' Penelope's eyes widened, possessive much? Derek noticed the change in Penelope's emotion and immediately realised what he had just said... he'd been back less than hour in her life and he was already opening up more than he ever had before? ''Penelope, I-I didn't mean, I mean I did... but not, never that way, I just... can I start again?'' Penelope nodded and Derek sighed in relief, ''but I think we should talk over coffee or something, being in this supply closet doesn't look very good.''


End file.
